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The one you feed !

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said,"My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorry, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied " The one you feed ."

Where the Hell were you?

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, 'If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you. The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, 'Stop ! Stand still ! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.' The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. The man asked. 'Who are you?' 'I am your guardian angel,' the voice answered. 'Oh, yeah?' the man said 'And where the Hell were you when I got married?'